All She Wrote
by xblissfuloblivion
Summary: Ray and Neela songfic to the song All She Wrote by Ross Copperman.


_**Title:** All She Wrote _

_**Rating:** FRT_

_**Spoilers:** Major spoilers for 12x21 The Gallant Hero and The Tragic Victor, minor spoilers for 13x04 Parenthood._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own ER or the song lyrics (but I have first dibs on Shane West P)_

_**Summary:** Ray and Neela songfic to the song All She Wrote by Ross Copperman._

_Hope you like!!_

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_Flashback_

"_There are two men here to see you from the army," _

"_The…army," Neela said slowly._

_Abby nodded._

_She stared in shock as she felt her whole world start spinning._

"_Neela, we tried to find you," she briefly heard Ray murmur as she turned around to face the waiting room where she spotted two men in uniform._

_She slowly began the endless walk to the doors as they stood up._

"_Doctor Rasgotra," one of them said with a nod of his head._

"_Yes," _

"_I'm Captain Evans, this is Father Marris, is there some place more private we can talk?" he asked._

"_Can you tell me why you're here please?" she asked ignoring his request._

"_I really think it would be better…" he began._

"_Tell me," she said louder cutting him off as she felt a tear fall down her cheek._

"_Ma'am the Secretary of the Army would like to express his deepest regrets…" he began._

_Neela frowned._

"_Wait there must be some mistake…" Neela started._

"_As your husband Captain Michael Gallant was killed in action…" he continued._

"_No I'm sorry you've got it mixed up Michael is a doctor he's not a soldier, soldier…" Neela cut in._

"_He was killed when his truck was hit by a roadside bomb," Captain Evans said softly._

_Neela gasped as her jaw began shaking._

"_Again the Secretary extends his deepest regrets…" he said._

"_I'm sorry I'm working I can't do this right now," Neela broke in turning around and walking hurriedly back into the hospital feeling everyone's eyes on her she quickly grabbed a chart and walked away._

xxxxxxx

3 months later

12,000 thousand dollars, her husband was dead and they send her a check for _12,000 _dollars.

_She wanders all alone  
this is all, she's ever really known_

After Ray had given her the mail she just had to get out of there. This was all becoming too much for her and the check had been the final straw. The question was always in her mind now "Why? Why her?"

_A stranger in her skin nothing more, it's all she's ever been_

But then again she'd always never felt like anything went the right way for her, everything she touched seemed to get stuffed up and nobody could ever possibly understand how she was feeling…

_She spills these words across the page  
it helps to ease the pain_

She slammed the door to the apartment shut and ran to her room to pick up her journal; it was something she had been keeping since…Michael died.

_And she cries:_

_Nobody out there  
Wants to understand  
Nobody out there  
Takes me as I am  
I'm feeling alone, here  
I know there's gotta be, somebody somewhere_

_That's all she wrote_

After she finished writing she set the journal aside and climbed into bed crying her self into another fitful sleep.

xxxxxxxx

_She always feels so small  
Pushed aside, a flower on the wall_

The next day she walks into Surgery just as a trauma is wheeled through the elevator she rushes to help them but Crenshaw stops her.

"_We got it Doctor Rasgotra," he states._

_They never ask her name  
No one sees the girl without a face_

They all rush past her to the Trauma room leaving her standing there dejectedly.

_She spills these words across the page  
it helps to ease the pain_

She rushes up the stairs to the roof she needs to be alone.

_And she cries:_

_Nobody out there  
Wants to understand  
Nobody out there  
Takes me as I am  
I'm feeling alone, here  
I know there's gotta be, somebody somewhere_

_That's all she wrote_

She leans against the edge of the railing taking deep breaths when she hears footsteps behind her she already knows who it is…

_her great escape, she's found her place and she's never gonna be the same  
It's beautiful, cause now she knows_

She turns around and finally allows her self to sink into his strong arms which are full of sadness, compassion, love and _understanding…_

That night as she writes in her journal she finally has a smile in her face as the words spill out onto the page.

_There's somebody out there, who wants to understand  
There's somebody out there, who takes me as I am_

She glances down at him sleeping soundly next to her feeling her life is finally complete for once.

_I'm feeling at home here  
I knew there had to be  
Somebody somewhere  
That's all she wrote_

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_Hope you enjoyed!!_

_Please Review!!_


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